Dear Janice,

My girlfriend has a house rabbit which I first thought was quite cute. Then she began staying over at mine and bringing the thing with her.

She lets it have the run of my flat and to date, it has chewed cushions, house plants, and even the rim of my new trainers!

On top of that, I find wee ‘Maltesers’ all over the place. She does clean it up, but that’s not the point.

I really like her and don’t want to fall out over this, but I feel my anxiety rising when she appears with her overnight bag in one hand, and her rabbit cage in the other.

Any ideas? Jack.

 

Dear Jack,

Everyone loves a bunny rabbit, and in many cultures, they are seen as incredibly lucky animals, but I would be hopping mad too if my Nike trainers were gnawed by this furry creature.

However, the way you look at it, an honest chat with your girlfriend is the only constructive choice you have.

Explain that you are not really an animal kind of guy and that you have tried to make an exception for her furry friend, but that it’s not working out.

She has a sensible option. Bring it with her, but keep it in its cage. Rabbits can happily live caged for a night so long as they are fed and watered, but they can also be destructive if let out as you have discovered, so it is perfectly reasonable to suggest this.

If she is upset about your idea, then stay over at hers until she sees sense. Is she really going to let a rabbit dictate her life? Perhaps. But it shouldn’t compromise yours.

Good luck.

 

Dear Janice,

My friend has had all her teeth re-done in Turkey. They do look fabulous, but now she is talking about a gastric band, and then perhaps a boob job.

She is only 26 years old and although she is roughly a stone overweight, she is certainly not obese.

I have told her many times that she looks great and only needs to eat decent food and exercise to lose the pounds, but she is determined to go ahead with these surgeries.

She has maxed out several credit cards already but says money is not a problem, so there seems to be no stopping her.

What else can I say to get her to end this surgery nonsense?

Louise.

 

Dear Louise,

Unfortunately, your friend has fallen victim to the world she lives in. Images of perfection are everywhere and it is natural for some to want to mirror them by any means possible.

Despite the fact that their choices could be hazardous and potentially life-changing, people like your friend make these decisions on a whim because surgery nowadays is readily available for just about anyone who can muster up the cash.

Also, some consider these surgical procedures no riskier than visiting a beauty salon. But the seriousness of it should never be underestimated.

Cosmetic surgery to improve self-esteem can be positively life-changing and I’m certainly not against it, but not everyone gets the outcome they hoped for and can experience complications, unwanted scarring, infection, and the end result might not always turn out as expected.

Buddy up with your friend and exercise together. Draw up a healthy eating plan and before long she will start to see her weight go down. When this happens she will feel better about herself which will hopefully help her make less drastic choices.

 

Dear Janice,

Last weekend I blitzed the spring cleaning in our flat, but when I went through my partner’s stuff, I came across a box with all sorts of mementoes from his ex.

Valentine’s cards, birthday cards, etc, so I binned them all. After all, why should he hang on to old stuff from his ex now he is with me?

I reckoned he wouldn’t notice anyway, but he did and went ballistic.

Then I went ballistic at him for making such a huge drama out of it all.

He still can’t give me a reasonable reason for keeping these things, and the two of us have barely spoken.

I now wonder if there is anything else he is hiding, whereas he thinks I’m a screwball.

So, where do we go from here?

Claire.

 

Dear Claire,

You didn’t just ‘come across’ these things, let’s be honest. These items were not just lying about waiting to be discovered by you. No, you rummaged through his personal stuff which you certainly had no right to do, and disposed of HIS property, not yours.

Claire, people keep all sorts from their past for many reasons. Some like having nostalgic memories to look back on, and that is their choice. And, it is their choice when, and if they want to let it go too.

Can he really tell you his reasons for keeping these things? I somehow think that conversation would go down like the Titanic.

It is you he is with, not his ex. But if this kind of behaviour carries on, that might not be the case for much longer.

Apologise. Say you respect him and his right to keep personal items and that you made a mistake.

Hopefully, this episode can then blow over.